Digital Dopamine – Why Your Kids Can’t Put the Screens Down

Hello from the beach!

Yes, you read that right—I’m on holiday with my family, writing to you between waves and the happy squeals of children playing in the sand. And while I had hoped to get this done before the break, I thought, you know what? Maybe it’s the perfect setting to talk about something so many parents struggle with during school holidays: screen time—and more specifically, what’s really going on in our kids’ brains when they can’t seem to put the device down.

Understanding Digital Dopamine: Why Screens Hook Our Kids

Let’s start with the brain science. Dopamine is a feel-good chemical that floods the brain when we experience pleasure or excitement—whether it’s getting a compliment, eating chocolate, or yes, winning a game on Roblox. It’s this same chemical that makes things addictive. When it comes to screens, the constant flow of new information, bright colours, instant feedback, and fast-paced interaction gives our kids a rapid succession of dopamine hits.

This is especially intense for children with ADHD, whose brains crave novelty and stimulation. Parents often tell me, “But my child can focus on video games for hours—how could they have ADHD?” The answer lies in the difference between passive vs. dynamic stimulation. A teacher talking in a quiet classroom is one single stimulus. But a game like Minecraft? It’s like fireworks going off in their brain—new challenges, animations, characters, and changes every second.

Spotting Unhealthy Attachment

So how do you know if screen time has gone too far?

Some red flags include:

• Irritability when asked to stop using the screen
• Lying or sneaking devices
• Constantly reaching for a phone when bored or anxious
• Withdrawal from real-world interactions

I’ve seen it happen in my own family—especially during holidays, when routine slides and screen habits creep in. What started as an occasional Minecraft session turned into devices appearing at meal times. That was my cue to step in, reset the boundaries, and have a calm but clear conversation with my kids about what healthy habits look like.

What Can You Do?

If this is sounding all too familiar, you’re not alone—and you can take back control.

Here are three gentle but effective strategies:
 

1.  Reset Slowly (Or Go Cold Turkey)

• Some families prefer to stop all at once. Others do better with a gradual reduction. Pick what fits your household.
• Explain the plan to your kids and help them feel involved in the process.

2.  Model Balanced Screen Use

• If you’re checking your phone at the dinner table, your kids will think that’s normal. Be open about your own choices and why you’re making them.

3.  Structure the Offline World

• Help kids transition by offering clear, engaging alternatives. Outdoor play, board games, crafts, or simply giving their brain time to adjust post-screen.
  
  

And yes—it’s okay if they roll their eyes. It’s okay if there’s a little pushback. What matters is consistency, compassion, and creating space for real-world joy again.

Let me be clear—this isn’t about banning all screens forever. It’s about building awareness. It’s about knowing why your child gets hooked and how to gently guide them toward balance.

You’ve got this. And remember: it’s okay to start again on Monday.