Transforming Family Communication

Let’s talk about something that impacts every family—communication. School holidays, like those we’ve just enjoyed here in Queensland, can be a beautiful time to bond, but they also come with their fair share of triggers and challenges. One moment you’re cherishing the quality time, and the next, you’re navigating a messy kitchen covered in icing sugar.  

It’s these day-to-day situations that remind us of the importance of how we respond to our children. In this blog, I’ll share insights on communication, the power of language, and how small changes can lead to a more harmonious family dynamic.  

The Power of Words  

Our words shape how our children perceive situations, and understanding this can transform how we approach parenting. When children are upset, their ability to process language and problem-solve drops significantly. This isn’t the time to give detailed instructions or complex reasoning. Instead, use fewer words and focus on calming them.  

Some words, like “stop” or “why,” can unintentionally escalate stress. While “stop” is effective in emergencies, using it during everyday conflicts—like “stop yelling”—can heighten emotions. Similarly, asking “Why did you do that?” can overwhelm children, especially those with ADHD, as they may not have a clear answer.  
 

Calming Phrases vs. Triggering Phrases 

Phrases like “You’re being naughty” or “What now?” can create feelings of shame and anxiety in children. Instead, adopt active listening techniques:  

• Reflect their emotions: “I see you’re upset” or “I understand you’re frustrated.”  
• Offer support: “Let’s figure this out together.”  

These phrases validate your child’s feelings, helping them feel understood and safe, which in turn reduces their stress levels.  

Building a Respectful Communication Style

Modelling respectful communication is crucial. Your children learn how to interact with others by observing how you communicate with them and those around you. Small shifts, like focusing on empathy and clarity, can have a big impact.  

Start by acknowledging your child’s feelings, staying calm during conflicts, and reframing instructions to reduce stress. For instance, instead of saying “Stop making a mess,” try, “Let’s clean up together.” These small changes build trust and strengthen the parent-child bond.  

Parenting isn’t about being perfect—it’s about being present, reflective, and willing to grow. If you’ve already implemented some of these strategies, take a moment to celebrate your efforts. Every step you take brings you closer to a more connected family dynamic.