Screens, Sleep, and Social Skills: What Parents Need to Know from Jonathan Haidt's Book

 By Leanne Tran | Psychologist | Parent Like a Psychologist

Welcome back, parents! Today on the blog, I’m diving into a book that’s sparked some big feelings and even bigger conversations—Jonathan Haidt’s The Anxious Generation. If you’ve been feeling uneasy about your kids’ screen use and wondering whether you’re the only one, this book—and this review—are for you.

Reading is a personal passion of mine, and this book struck a chord. It combines so many of my interests: psychology, parenting, child development, and our ever-changing digital landscape. It’s also the rare parenting book that left me thinking and re-evaluating some things in our own family. So let’s dig in.

What’s the Book About?

The Anxious Generation presents a bold, research-heavy argument: childhood changed around 2010—and not for the better. That year marks the rise of smartphones and social media, which Haidt says fundamentally reshaped how kids grow up. He argues this shift has led to:

• A decrease in outdoor play and real-world connection

• A rise in screen-based, indoor activity

• Sharp increases in anxiety, depression, and self-harm—especially among girls

Haidt draws a clear connection between the rise of portable internet-connected devices and a generation of kids who are more anxious, more isolated, and less resilient.

My Initial Reaction: Panic Mode

As a parent and psychologist, reading this book felt like a jolt. I’ll admit it—I panicked. I found myself blurting out to my kids, “That’s it! We’re going back to dumb phones!” I even pictured our family with old-school Nokias where the only game was Snake. My teenager’s face was a mix of horror and disbelief, which (at the time) I took as proof I was right.

Now that the dust has settled, I can see things with more clarity. The book is powerful and necessary—but it also needs to be read with balance and a little nuance.

What Haidt Gets Right

There’s a lot in this book that aligns with what we know in child development and psychology:

• Play matters: Unstructured, outdoor play is crucial for learning risk assessment, social skills, and creativity. It’s developmentally essential—and phones have squeezed it out.

• Sleep science: Haidt breaks down how blue light and bedtime screen use disrupt melatonin production and sleep cycles. This fits with broader research on tech and sleep.

• Phone as portal: What makes smartphones uniquely disruptive is that the internet is always with our kids. Constant availability leads to constant distraction—and constant comparison.

• Calls to action: Haidt offers practical advice—like delaying smartphones, removing them from schools, and building tech norms in communities. He also explains how the average number of daily notifications interrupts attention and connection.

Where I Disagree or Hesitate

Like any parenting book, this one isn’t perfect or complete. A few things gave me pause:

• Correlation ≠ causation: Just because phone use and mental health challenges increased around the same time doesn’t mean one caused the other. We also have to consider academic pressure, climate anxiety, and broader societal stress.

• It can trigger guilt: The tone can feel alarmist at times. While it’s meant to be a wake-up call, it might make parents feel like they’ve failed. I prefer helping parents feel empowered, not anxious about anxiety.

• Neurodivergent kids need nuance: For autistic or ADHD kids, screens can offer real social connection, a sense of mastery, or a way to self-regulate. For some kids, online spaces are safer and more accessible than in-person ones.

What You Can Do Instead of Panicking

Here are a few key takeaways I’m applying at home and in my work with families:

1. Collaborate on screen boundaries
   Involve your child in the process. Set up agreements, not ultimatums.

2. Prioritize sleep hygiene
   Remove screens from bedrooms and establish tech-free times—parents included.

3. Encourage meaningful online connections
   One-on-one or small group interactions are more valuable than public posts or endless scrolling.

4. Think ‘digital nutrition’ over restriction
   Focus on what kids consume, not just how much. Quality over quantity.

5. Model healthy habits
   Your kids learn from your phone use too. If you're reading on your phone, tell them it’s a book—not just more screen time.

Final Thoughts

The Anxious Generation is a powerful, necessary read—but not the final word. It shines a light on real concerns, especially for neurotypical kids, but needs nuance when it comes to neurodivergent children and individual family values.

If screen time, sleep struggles, and emotional overwhelm are common in your home, you're not alone. Let’s shift from panic to purpose, together. I’d love to support you in one of my parenting or ADHD programs, where we tackle these topics in a way that’s practical, realistic, and kind to everyone involved.

Thanks for reading—and for parenting with heart and intention.