Transforming Parenting with Compassion: Insights from Bradford Stukey
Parenting a neurodivergent child is a journey filled with challenges, learning, and immense growth. Bradford Stukey, a licensed marriage and family therapist and parent of a child with ADHD, recently shared his experiences and insights on the Parent Like a Psychologist podcast. His story is one of resilience, adaptation, and the power of relationship-focused parenting.
Shifting the Paradigm: Relationship First
Bradford introduced the concept of attachment-based parenting, championed by Karen Purves. Initially sceptical, he discovered that this model emphasises building a strong relationship with the child while addressing their unmet needs. Instead of punitive measures, it focuses on compassion and collaboration. As Bradford put it, “It’s not about the behaviour; it’s about the unmet need.”
For parents raised with traditional approaches centred on authority and obedience, this shift can feel counterintuitive. Yet, it creates a foundation for long-term trust and open communication, which is especially critical for neurodivergent children.
Strategies for Success
Bradford highlighted two key strategies that transformed his parenting journey:
- Medication: This helped manage the core symptoms of ADHD, enabling his child to better navigate daily challenges.
- Changing Parenting Approaches: By adopting a compassionate lens, he learned to address behaviours with understanding rather than frustration.
He also underscored the importance of continuous learning, therapy for parents, and building a supportive community. These tools equip parents to manage their emotions and reactions, ensuring they don’t project personal insecurities onto their child.
A Proactive Approach
Parenting a child with ADHD requires proactive effort. Bradford advises parents to seek professional guidance early, pursue self-education, and focus on building a positive relationship with their child. As he wisely noted, “Never stop learning. There’s always space for growth.”
This approach not only nurtures the child’s development but also empowers parents to feel confident and connected in their role.
Whether you're at the beginning of your parenting journey or seeking new strategies, Bradford’s story is a testament to the transformative power of compassion and adaptability.
