Ep. 10: Emotional Regulation

In today’s episode, I discuss the important topic of emotional regulation, which is especially relevant for families going through challenging times. Emotional regulation is the ability to manage our feelings and return to a calm state when emotions run high. We all experience emotions differently – some people have intense, quick-to-fade emotions, while others experience slower, longer-lasting feelings.

To help children learn emotional regulation, I use the concept of “emotional size” – explaining that big emotions can be difficult to manage. I emphasise the importance of deep breathing as a quick and effective way to regulate our nervous system. Crucially, we as parents and carers must regulate our own emotions first before we can support our children. If we are agitated, we won’t be effective in helping them calm down.

I also talk about the concept of baseline stress levels. When life becomes busy or overwhelming, our baseline stress increases, which means even small stressors can provoke intense emotional reactions.

Helping children with emotional regulation involves recognising that everyone experiences emotions differently. Parents play a key role in co-regulation, which means initially soothing children and, over time, helping them learn self-regulation skills.

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