Connected Parenting: How to Support Children with Challenging Behaviours
Parenting isn’t easy—and if you’ve ever wondered how to handle challenging behaviours without constant conflict, you’re not alone. In a recent episode of Parent Like a Psychologist, I spoke with paediatric occupational therapist and author Dave Jereb about practical parenting strategies that help families move away from compliance-based discipline and toward connected parenting.
Dave is the co-founder of MoveAbout Therapy Services and author of Challenging the Story. With over 20 years of experience supporting children and families, he’s passionate about helping parents understand the why behind behaviours so they can respond with empathy, structure, and connection.
Why Connection Is More Effective Than Compliance
Traditional parenting often focuses on compliance—expecting children to follow rules because “that’s how it’s done.” While this may work short-term, Dave explained that compliance-focused parenting doesn’t help kids build an internal compass.
Instead, he encourages parents to focus on connection. When children feel understood, safe, and supported, they’re more likely to cooperate and develop long-term emotional regulation skills.
💡 Parenting takeaway: Connected parenting doesn’t mean being permissive—it means setting boundaries with warmth and empathy.
Four Types of Caregiving: Which One Are You Using?
Dave outlined four common caregiving styles parents fall into:
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Compliance Caregiving – Strict, structured, and adult-focused. Gets short-term results but doesn’t build self-regulation.
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Comfort Caregiving – Warm and nurturing, but often lacking boundaries or structure.
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Chaos Caregiving – Inconsistent and unpredictable, leaving children feeling uncertain.
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Connected Caregiving – A balance of warmth and structure. Encourages independence, resilience, and cooperation.
Parents often shift between these styles depending on the situation, but aiming for connected caregiving creates stronger long-term outcomes.
Parenting Strategies: The ABC Ideas Framework
One of the most powerful tools Dave shared is his ABC Ideas Framework, which helps parents look beyond behaviour and understand what’s driving it:
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A – Antecedents: What happened before the behaviour? (Fatigue, transitions, environment, etc.)
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B – Behaviour: What exactly is happening, without judgment?
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C – Consequences: What happens afterward, and how might that shape the future?
Dave’s key insight: “Today’s consequence becomes tomorrow’s antecedent.” The way parents respond now influences whether behaviours are repeated—or replaced with more positive ones.
Managing Challenging Behaviours Without Losing Connection
Many parents feel overwhelmed when their child’s behaviour becomes challenging. The natural response is often frustration, but Dave encourages parents to pause before reacting. By staying calm, connecting with the child, and inviting them into problem-solving, parents can reduce conflict and model emotional regulation.
💡 Practical tip: When your child is dysregulated, connection comes first. Once they feel safe and understood, solutions become easier to find.
Parenting as a Long Game
Connected parenting is about more than surviving today—it’s about raising children who become thoughtful, resilient adults. Structure and warmth work hand-in-hand to help kids not only behave better but also want to cooperate.
As Dave says: “Connection isn’t just nicer—it’s more effective.”
Learn More About Dave Jereb & MoveAbout Therapy
If you’d like to explore Dave’s work further, here are some helpful resources:
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🌐 MoveAbout Therapy Services – Learn about their philosophy, book, and courses
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📸 Instagram (Personal): @davejereb_ot – OT insights and parenting reflections
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📸 Instagram (MoveAbout): @moveabout.ot – Therapy activities, parent strategies, and team content
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▶️ YouTube: MoveAbout Therapy Services – Videos on regulation, behaviour tools, and OT activities
✨ Listen to the full conversation on the Parent Like a Psychologist Podcast for more strategies to support your child with connection and confidence.
