Supporting Neurodivergent Families: What Parents Need to Know (with Therapist Morganne Crouser)

Parenting a neurodivergent child can feel equal parts beautiful and overwhelming. You’re trying to understand their needs, support their emotions, and set them up to thrive, all while managing your own stress and uncertainty.

In this week’s Parent Like a Psychologist podcast episode, I talk with US-based therapist Morganne Crouser, who works directly with neurodivergent families and also parents three neurodivergent young people herself. Her insights are practical, reassuring, and remind us that families don’t grow in isolation,  they grow together.

Below is a deeper dive into what we discussed, shaped into an SEO-friendly guide for parents who want calmer homes, stronger connections, and a clearer understanding of their child’s needs.

What Makes Family Therapy So Helpful for Neurodivergent Families?

One of the first things Morganne explains is what family therapy actually is, and what it’s not.

Many children benefit from individual therapy, especially if they’re autistic, ADHD, anxious, or struggling with emotional regulation. But individual therapy alone can be hard to apply at home if the rest of the family isn’t part of the process.

Family therapy helps everyone “move together.”

Morganne describes it as gently shifting a family “an inch at a time,” the way you would adjust furniture until it fits just right. If one person is working on communication, independence, or emotional skills, those changes are much easier to support when:

• parents know how to respond

• siblings understand what’s happening

• routines and expectations match the child’s developmental stage

• the whole family system is learning together

This is especially important for neurodivergent children, who may rely on consistency, predictability, and co-regulation to feel safe.

Understanding the ARC Model: A Roadmap for Parenting Neurodivergent Kids

A big part of our conversation centres on the ARC model, a highly respected therapeutic framework that stands for:

• A – Attachment

• R – Regulation

• C – Competency

Morganne uses this model in her clinical work and in her own home. It gives parents a simple way to understand why certain behaviours show up,  and in what order children actually learn to cope, calm, and grow.

1. Attachment: The Foundation Every Child Needs

Attachment is the base layer. It’s not about being perfect — it’s about being predictable and emotionally available.

Kids need to feel:

• safe

• seen

• comforted

• understood

• able to rely on adults

Without this sense of safety, kids spend their energy scanning the environment instead of learning, socialising, or regulating emotions.

Morganne puts it simply:
“Kids can’t figure out what’s going on inside them if they’re not sure what’s going on around them.”

For neurodivergent children, who may be more sensitive to sensory input, routines, or emotional cues, this sense of security becomes even more important.

2. Regulation: Helping Kids Understand and Manage Big Feelings

Before children can cope with feelings, they need help noticing and naming them. Many neurodivergent children - and adults - struggle with identifying emotions, especially when sensory overload, hunger, tiredness, or overwhelm gets mixed in.

Morganne reminds us that:
“You can’t regulate what you can’t recognise.”

This includes things like:

• identifying physical signals (heart racing, fidgeting, tight chest)

• naming emotions accurately

• recognising sensory overwhelm

• understanding the link between body cues and behaviour

One important takeaway for parents:
Kids regulate best when we regulate too.

And yes - this means using the same tools we give our kids:

• deep breathing

• sensory tools

• movement breaks

• stepping away

• grounding strategies

• slowing down communication

When parents model regulation, it normalises it. Kids see that everyone needs support sometimes, not just them.

3. Competency: Skill Building Comes Last - Not First

Most parents want to help their child become confident, independent, and able to manage life’s challenges. That’s the “competency” part of the ARC model - executive functioning, problem solving, planning, and future thinking.

But competency only builds well when attachment and regulation are in place.

Morganne’s words sum it up beautifully:
“You can’t build the second storey of a house before the walls are up.”

If a child is overwhelmed, dysregulated, or unsure what to expect, they won’t have the mental space to remember chores, plan homework, or build independence.

When home feels predictable and regulation skills are developing, competency becomes much easier — and much more natural.

How Parents Can Support Their Own Regulation (Without Adding More to the To-Do List)

Many neurodivergent families have multiple neurodivergent members - kids and adults. Morganne sees this often. And even when parents are not neurodivergent, they may still struggle with sensory overload, emotional intensity, or the stress of constant caregiving.

Her best advice for parents is wonderfully simple:

“Whatever you’re asking your child to do… do it too.”

If your child is learning:

• slow breathing → you breathe with them

• using a weighted blanket → join them

• taking a break → model it

• naming emotions → practise aloud

It helps you regulate and shows your child that these tools are normal human tools, not “special strategies they have to use.”

Why This Matters So Much for Neurodivergent Children

Children who are autistic or ADHD often feel emotions intensely, experience sensory overload quickly, and need more co-regulation than neurotypical peers. When the adults in their lives can stay steady - or repair after a wobble - children feel safer and less alone.

This episode dives into:

• how attachment creates safety

• why regulation skills need to be taught slowly and gently

• how sensory needs affect behaviour

• why family systems matter more than individual strategies

• ways to help kids build confidence over time

It’s a hopeful, practical conversation that gives parents a clearer pathway forward.

Final Thoughts: Start at the Foundation, Not the Top

If you’re parenting a neurodivergent child, you don’t need to have all the answers. You don’t need perfect routines or perfect calm. What your child needs most is connection, safety, and a regulated adult nearby.

Everything else - emotional skills, independence, resilience, problem-solving - grows from that foundation.

Want More Support?

If you found this episode helpful, you may also like:

• Chaos to Calm (your calmer-home parenting course)

• Neurodivergent Sleep Fix

• Screen Fix

• and upcoming workshops on emotional regulation and behaviour support

🎧 Listen to the full episode here: Parent Like a Psychologist — with guest Morganne Crouser