Episode 122: Why kids learn to act out for attention (and how to turn it around), with Dr Larry Waldman

When your child seems to be “acting out just for attention,” it can feel frustrating, personal, and endless. In this episode of Parent Like a Psychologist, I’m joined by US psychologist Dr Larry Waldman to unpack what’s really going on underneath “attention-seeking” behaviour – and how parents can respond in a calmer, more effective way.

Drawing on decades of work with children, teens, and families, Dr Waldman explains the behavioural approach to parenting in simple, practical terms. We talk about why kids quickly learn that certain behaviours get a big reaction, how a negative attention cycle develops at home, and why parental time and attention are the most powerful “currency” children have.

Instead of focusing on punishment or “making kids learn a lesson,” we explore how to:

• Use your attention as a positive reward for the behaviour you want to see

• Break the pattern where kids only get noticed when things go wrong

• “Catch them while they’re good” and build more cooperation over time

• Balance ignoring minor misbehaviour with noticing and praising positive choices

• Apply these ideas not just with kids, but also at work and in relationships

If you’ve ever heard yourself say, “They’re doing it just for attention,” this episode will help you see that attention differently – and use it in a way that strengthens behaviour and your relationship with your child.

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